Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
