just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
