I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
