There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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