I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
