what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
