i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
