Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was born a porn star she said
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
