So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
