Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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