i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
