i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize