i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
