We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
