Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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