at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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