How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize