ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
