she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
