We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to calm my uterus...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
