Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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