You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
