Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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