Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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