I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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