My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
