apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize