I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
