i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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