May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
