And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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