I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
