and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize