I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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