never play flip cup with pint glasses
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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