ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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