I'm jealous of your bromance
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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