this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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