Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
