Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
