cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
