I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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