So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
zippers are such a cool invention
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize