I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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