I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
