omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
