GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
