Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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