Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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