2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
