The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
