so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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