sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
