Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want her autograph on my taint
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize