: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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