I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize