I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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