I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
