he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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