Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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