Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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