I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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