I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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