No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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