I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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