he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize