Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
