your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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