I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
send nudes
from the living room?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize