thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize