I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
