i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
