Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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