I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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