OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
