You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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