he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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